One of my favorite films is Kiki’s Delivery Service, a 1989 animated film by Japanese master Hayao Miyazaki.
In one segment of the movie, the young female protagonist meets a teenage painter who dwells in a log cabin deep in the forest. They form a close emotional bond together.
After spending some time in town, the two girls resort to hitchhiking in order to get back. After an unsuccessful attempt or two, a man in a rusty pick-up truck drops them off at the secluded cabin.
The scene stuck in my memory. What struck me was how casually hitchhiking was portrayed. Not only was this not a horror movie scenario draped in doom and gloom, there was no anxiety surrounding the man’s intentions at all. Not even a hint of malice or ill-will was evident during the entire scene.
Instead, it was simply two people depending on another person’s kindness and charity, with no hostile conflict of any kind shown.
I was a little thrown. For my entire life, I’d been told how utterly dangerous hitchhiking was. Give someone a ride and you’re guaranteed to end up chopped into little bits and strewn about various interstate rest stops.
The way it’s portrayed in most Western media, you’d think every person standing on the side of the road was either:
- a fugitive on the run from the law
- a serial killer intent on ending your life in as grisly a manner as possible
The truth is that, despite what millions of fretting mothers and fear-mongering news channels would have you believe, hitchhiking is a perfectly viable, even safe, way to travel (yes, even for women).
After all, you won’t find any news stories about the multitude of travelers who have hopped into dozens of cars without incident, will you? No, they’ll only cover the one-in-a-million case where someone was unfortunate enough to get into the wrong car with the wrong person.
As a matter of fact, chances are the most you’ll have to worry about is being coming up with conversation topics!
During my time in New Zealand, I stuck my thumb out for a fair share of rides, and here are the unspoken ‘laws’ I found most important to follow.
1.) Be Entertaining
This may be difficult for the more taciturn traveler, but it’s mandatory. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
Put yourself in the shoes of the person picking you up.
You’re a long-distance trucker and you’ve been driving for hundreds of miles (or kilometers for you non-Americans out there). The radio has been playing the same ten songs over and over, and you can only listen to so much of your audio book before it all blurs together.
Suddenly, in the distance, you see a small speck. Sure enough, as you get closer, it’s a hitchhiker. After some momentary trepidation, you pull over, roll down the window, and ask where they’re headed.
This is a very common scenario in the hitchhiking universe. A large portion of the time, the person picking you up will be someone who is quite bored or lonely and is looking for someone to pass the time with.
While they may just want to be a Good Samaritan, they also probably wouldn’t appreciate you simply mumbling your destination and zonking out immediately after shutting the door.
It’s common courtesy to attempt and strike up an interesting conversation. After all, they’re giving you a free ride, and unless you’re planning on forking over some cash (which defeats the entire purpose of hitching), the only other type of remuneration you can offer is to be as magnanimous as possible.
Try to stay away from potentially incendiary topics like politics and religion. Instead, tell some of your best travel stories.
Regale them about the time you threw an old lady off of your scooter in Taiwan(this happened to me). Or when you had thousands of fireworks bombarded directly at you (another true story).
If you find yourself hitching in a non-English speaking country and the language barrier is a problem, learn a simple card trick or two. Work on your miming abilities and have plenty of pictures on hand to show off. If you have a smart phone handy, use a translation app to get some good laughs and rudimentary conversations going.
Hitching with the locals in China
Whatever you do, NEVER FALL ASLEEP or ‘check out’. Not only is it rude, it may prevent that person from picking up future hitchers in need!
Once, I was picked up by a repairman in New Zealand on three separate occasions on the same day. He would drop me off and then go do his assignment, promising to pick me back later up if no one else had offered a ride by then.
Turned out no one else did, and I got three individual rides from the same guy; he eventually drove me all the way to Tauranga, nearly two hours away. Do you think that would have happened if I hadn’t been effective at conversation (not to toot my own horn or anything)?
2.) Don’t make them go out of their way
This person is already doing you a favor by picking you up in the first place. If they can’t drop you off precisely at the front door of your next hostel, don’t pester them to try and drive any further than they have to.
There will always be more rides. Don’t make a good ride go sour by pushing it.
3.) Clean yourself up
Many people have the same archetypal image of the hitchhiker engrained in their mind: a dirty man with unkempt hair, unshaven beard, and mothball-ridden clothing standing on a dusty roadside holding a crumbling cardboard sign.
Of course this is a ludicrous notion. Luckily, this gives you plenty of opportunity to shatter that stereotype and impress drivers with your appearance.
Guys, trim that beard and straighten that jacket. Ladies, run a comb through your hair. Brush your teeth, and for goodness sake, take a shower (or, if all else fails, at least have a reasonable rub down with a wet towel).
No one wants a smelly big-foot-like creature lumbering into their vehicle and stinking up the place for the next few minutes or hours. A bit of personal hygiene will not only make a good first impression, it will get your exponentially more rides in the first place!
4.) Be thankful
This should go without saying, but often it’s the simplest things that are easiest to forget. While you don’t necessarily have to get on your hands and knees to grovel at the drivers feet, you should make it absolutely clear how grateful you are for what they’re doing for you.
The first words out of your mouth once you enter the vehicle should be “Thank you so much.”
Shake their hand. Introduce yourself. Make eye contact. Basic stuff, but you’d be amazed how many people forget to do this, especially after they’ve been in dozens of different cars and done the exact same routine over the past few weeks.
When they drop you off, thank them once again, and try to be enthusiastic no matter how exhausted you are.
5.) Return the favor!
Who says that you have to stop hitchhiking when you have a car?
That’s right, one of the most helpful things you can do after sticking your own thumb out is to pick up other hitchhikers once you have a set of wheels.
While I hitchhiked throughout the North Island of New Zealand, I rented a car for the South Island.
Due to the charity and kindness I’d been shown up North, I made a point to pick up any hitchhikers I saw on the side of the road in the South.
I knew what it was like to wait for an extended period of time, hand stuck out in vain, sometimes in less than desirable weather conditions (lets just say it’s not much fun standing in the rain with a torn garbage bag barely keeping you dry).
Repay those past acts of kindness by doing the same and picking up any stray hitchhikers you see by the roadside. After all, they’ll probably have some good stories to tell you!
The car I drove across Tasmania, offering rides all the way!